I created this spot overlooking the water and mountains as I find it very peaceful and there is a sense of peace that fills me. I sat there pondering last night and today I’m going to be full on transparent as I waddle through my emotions.
Yesterday, I wrote about how hard it’s been letting go of someone I care for. It’s not exactly the feelings as those are as real as the air that I breath. It’s not even him the person that I’m trying to let go of. I could never forget him as that would be renouncing the relationship itself and everything good there was.
It’s more the idea that you paint in your mind and heart that you hold on to for so long. That beautiful illusion that perhaps was only of your own making.
Ironically, I landed within feet of the object of my affections last night and the tug on my emotions was a bit overwhelming. It takes everything in me not to reach out. I almost do. I don’t. He doesn’t either. It hurts. I miss him.
It lays heavy on my heart, but I can’t say ‘hello’ and risk another goodbye. Maybe someday it will all make perfect sense.
Thank you for letting me be so open with my thoughts today.