Lesson 51


© The Best Year of Your Life by Debbie Ford

Lesson 51: The Love You Need

We all yearn for different expressions of love at different times in our lives. Sometimes we need acceptance and gentleness; at other times we crave passion and adventure. And although we often look to others to give us the love we need, the highest act of self-love is to learn how to give it to ourselves.

When we take the time to listen to the desires of our hearts, we nurture ourselves from the inside out. By giving ourselves the love we need, we no longer look to others to complete us.

Your Self-Love Assignment

For the next five days, take some time each morning to connect with yourself. Close your eyes and take a few breaths into the area around your heart. As you breathe in, notice any feelings or emotions that are present. Then ask yourself, “What is the love I need right now?” Is it acceptance? Gentleness? Acknowledgment? Respect? Rest? Appreciation?

As you hear the kind of love your heart is longing for, take five more minutes to shower yourself in that type of love.

Self-Love Points Earned

Give yourself 100 points every time you give yourself the love you need.


Hair/Hat – Argrace – Equestrian Cap/Dakota Black
Eyes – Slink – Mesh Eyelids
Top – Tee*fy – Laura Unbuttoned Knotted Shirt Lemon
Pants – {mon tissu} – Cotton Pants Khaki
Shoes – Reign – Petal Hoppers White for Slink Flat Feet


Daybed – Pixel Mode – The Dreamer – White
All Landscaping – HPMD

Lesson 50

“We derive our vitality from our store of madness” ~Emile M. Cioran


© The Best Year of Your Life by Debbie Ford

Lesson 50: Simplify

Take a moment to check in with yourself: Are you as vital and energetic as you’d like to be? Is your thinking clear and focused, or at times dull or confused? Are you feeling light and eager, or burdened and lethargic?

Heaviness in body, mind, or emotions is often a sign of too much input. Too much work, too many appointments, and even too much recreation can dull our enthusiasm and deplete our vitality.
This week, look to see what modifications you could make in your daily routine to simplify your life and streamline your schedule.


Your Self-Love Assignment

Look at your schedule for the next 30 days. Notice how many activities and commitments on your calendar fall under the category of “shoulds,” “obligations,” or “have to’s.”

Now see what one activity you could take out of your schedule that would give you some relief and simplify your life.

Your self-love assignment for this week is to streamline your schedule by letting go of something non-essential. Take the extra time to do something nice for yourself.

Self-Love Points Earned

Give yourself 50 points for every non-essential item you take off your schedule.


Hair – LaViere – Daisy/ Greyscale Pack @ Fifty Linden Fridays
Top – Coquet – Cross Top Stripe
Shorts – Mia Shorts Sand @ FaMESHed
Sneakers – Reign – Petal Hoppers White
Bike – Epia – Traveler’s Bicycle RARE @ The Arcade
Sweets – Tentacio – Sweet Box RARE @ Kustom9

Lesson 49

Lesson 49

© The Best Year of Your Life by Debbie Ford

Lesson 49: Have Faith

At every moment – and especially in times of challenge – each of us is confronted with an important choice. Will we react out of fear, or will we choose instead to be guided out of faith? While fear can be an important messenger that signals us to pay attention, faith gives us strength and reassurance and leaves us bathed in the wisdom that we’re never alone.

Surrendering to faith is an act of courage. It’s saying, “Even though I feel scared or I’m not sure where I’m going, I trust that all will turn out in my highest and best interests.” When we make choices rooted in faith, we trust that there’s a power, an unseen force, guiding us. Faith gives us the ability to look beyond our immediate circumstances and imagine brave new choices for the future.


Your Self-Love Assignment

Identify an area in your life where you’re being held back by fear. Close your eyes and ask yourself, “What is the message that y fear is trying to give me? What action would fear like me to take in order to protect myself?”

Next, notice if there’s any area in your life that could benefit from a little more faith. Do you have enough faith to ask for what you need? Do you have enough faith to take a risk that may improve your situation? Allow yourself to see what actions you could take this week to build your faith muscle, and commit to taking them.

Self-Love Points Earned

Give yourself 50 points every time you choose faith over fear.


Hair – Mina – Mandy Black @ The Chapter Four
Hair Accessory – LODE – Headwear Sweet Pea [Pink] @ The Chapter Four
Glasses – Ariskea – Ozzy Mesh Glasses @ The Big Show
Top – Potcha – Ethnic Blouse @ The Chapter Four
Pants – Tres Blah – Skinny Slacks Red @ Collabor88
Shoes – Mango Cheeks – Melu Sandals: Baby @ The Chapter Four
Cup of Soup – /XIAJ/ – Super Ramyun @ The Chapter Four
Handbag – FAUN – Roshi Bag Emerald @ The Chapter Four

Pose: Infinity – Forgotten Memories 4 @ Fantasy Gacha Carnival

Pose: Eternal Dream Poses – Broken Doll {modified with Animare} @ Funny Puppet Fair

Lesson 48

“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.” ~ Lao Tzu


I have a picture of me around seven years old wearing a Betty Boop long sleeve shirt.   That when I found myself in this shop the other day checking out their merchandise after seeing a very colorful top on someone I saw these dresses with the character.  After a few minutes of reminiscing I couldn’t resist buying one.  It has wording in the front and in the back that speaks to the emotions we can develop for people that go beyond distance.


The lesson this week speaks of love and found the dress to be perfect to convey a message of love.

© The Best Year of Your Life by Debbie Ford

Lesson 48:  Lavish Love

The fastest way I know to amplify the amount of love in our hearts is to share that love with someone else. Love is contagious – the more you give, the more you get. And of course, when we lavish love upon others, we also lavish it upon ourselves.

Just imagine how you’d feel if you shared a degree of love with someone in your life that they’ve never felt from you before. What if you did something for them that was unexpected, unimaginable, and completely over the top? What effect do you think this gift would have on you? If you’re thinking it would fill you with love, you’re probably right.

This is the week to lavish love upon people you care about. Notice how much happier you feel when you share your heart with another.

Your Self-Love Assignment

Think of one special person in your life to lavish love upon this week. On a beautiful piece of stationery or in a journal, write a list of the 50 things you love most about this person and present it to him or her as your gift.

You can also go for extra credit by e-mailing a similar list to other people in your life whom you want to acknowledge: your parents, your spouse, your kids, your friends, your boss, or your co-workers. With every person you touch, you become part of a worldwide circle of love that keeps expanding.

If each of us gave this gift to give or ten people this week, think about how much love we’d send into the world!

Self-Love Points Earned

Give yourself 100 points every time you lavish love upon another.

Hair – Tram – A812 Black
Dress – Cae.b. – Miss You Dress Orange
Boots – Schadenfreude – Carnaby Boots White

Looking Through The Window Female Poses – Dyer Maker Animations

Rusted Metal Signs – ::db:: @ Market Place
Mesh Wall Scrolls – RnB

Lesson 45/J is for…

“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” ~ Carl Jung


I am combing this lesson with the letter “J” for the alphabet challenge.   Originally I had planned a totally different outfit and story for this lesson, except yesterday when I was meant to post it I had major inventory issues. Like in the split second of whatever I was doing I lost a significant portion of my inventory — going from 125,000 plus items to like 84,000.  Several attempts later I was beginning to get into acceptance mode and settled in for spending some quiet time relaxing with a friend.   Before going to bed I made one last attempt of cleaning out my cache as instructed on the Firestorm help pages and it seemed to work and I went to bed happy.

For my alphabet challenge I decided to go with these ankle boots from Just Design that have the imprint of the UK. They were included in the two for one in a past 21 Shoe events with the other imprint being the USA.  I wore them to represent walking in another’s shoes, even if it doesn’t apply to the actual lesson as given.   In Second Life we have the opportunity to meet people from many different countries.   The concept of walking in another’s shoes would perhaps serve us well in understanding their culture, expressions and behavior.

I love this lesson and it serves as a great reminder for me,especially as it comes in a very timely manner for something that recently happened.  Hope it helps you as well.

© The Best Year of Your Life by Debbie Ford

Lesson 45: Walk in Anothers Shoes

Most of us are so wrapped up in our own lives that we rarely stop to consider the needs, desires, and feelings of others. But it’s important for us to realize that when we view life from our own limited perspective, we’re only seeing half the picture. To have true intimacy and connection in our relationships, we must spend time walking in another’s shoes.

When we’re in conflict with those we care about; or when we aren’t being treated with the love, respect, or tenderness we desire, we have two basic choices. We can defend our position and try to prove that we’re right, or we can look at ourselves through their eyes. The first choice hardens our hearts, while the second opens us to new levels of compassion, understanding, and intimacy.

Your Self-Love Assignment

Think of someone in your life you don’t feel as close to as you’d like. This could be someone who you feel misunderstands you, judges you, or doesn’t treat you the way you’d like to be treated.

Imagine that you are this person, and write from them to you. It’s important to do this when you’re in a relaxed, centered mood. I recommend that you go for a walk or spend a few minutes getting quiet before you begin. Then, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Imagine that this person is sitting in front of you. Allow yourself to feel what life is like in their shoes. Just write from the other person’s perspective about what it’s like to be in a relationship with you.

Notice if walking in another’s shoes allows you to feel more compassion or connection with this person.

Self-Love Points Earned

Give yourself 100 points for completing this assignment.

Beanie – Pure Poison – Rockin’ Beanie
Hair – Pr!tty = Elle w/ Color HUD
Necklace – Pure Poison – Love Me {Group Gift}
Top – Emporium – Rockee Top w/ Color HUD {Rock Fashion Fair}
Shorts – Erratic – Briony Black
Boots – Just Design – Coral Vintage UK {previous 21 Edition}
Pose – Flash Friendly Poses – These Shoes Poses {previous BFF Hunt}

Lesson 44 & C is for…

Save Me

I am going to combine my weekly lesson with the Alphabet Challenge just to make things easier for me and I’m feeling a bit lazy.

Today’s letter is C and I picked to go with this hair from CaTwA and dressed myself in a top from Cold Logic and pants from Coco.    That’s not all.  I added earrings from Chop Zuey and shoes from Candy Doll.   It was a bit of a struggle to find a pose this time around so I just choose one at random and tweaked it a little with Animare and while it looks like I’m about to jump off a bridge — it’s more like feeling on the edge.  🙂

Yep, I think that completes the letter of the day.


Hope this lesson gives you as much thought as it has me.

© The Best Year of Your Life by Debbie Ford

Lesson 44:  What is Your Story?

Each of us has a story – a personal drama – that’s uniquely ours. Our story is the identity we’ve created that we now believe ourselves to be. Our stories define our limitations, telling us what we can and cannot do; and how much love, success, and happiness we’re entitled to. The stories we tell ourselves about who we are either open us up to new possibilities for happiness and fulfillment or they shut us down. Whenever we’re struggling, or not getting the results we want, we can be certain that we’re living inside a story that doesn’t serve us.

The good news is, you’re not only the star of your drama, you’re the creator of it. If you don’t like what’s showing up on the screen of your life, you’re the one with the power to change it.

Your Self-Love Assignment

1.  Choose an area of your life where you’ve been struggling, where you’re unhappy, or where you feel like you’re not getting your needs met.

2.  Begin to distinguish the story you tell yourself about this part of your life. What role are you playing within this story? Are you the victim? The villain? The damsel in distress?

3.  Next, ask yourself, “What internal or external shift would I have to make in order to become the hero of this story?”

4.  Commit to taking the actions you see.

Self-Love Points Earned

Give yourself 100 points for identifying the role you’ve been playing in the story of your life, and an additional 150 points for shifting your role from victim to hero.

Hair – CaTwA – Sandy V2 Hair
Earrings – Chop Zuey – JW Quest’ o Quella {Group Gift}
Top – Cold Logic – Top Jett Blue
Pants – Coco – Cargo Pants GreyBlue
Shoes – Candy Doll – Sweet Flats Brown w/ Slink Flat Feet

Pose: Couture Sit by Dare {store closed}

Bridge Stone Bridge by FelixvonKotwitz Alter
Tree – Mitsuko Kytori
Reed Flexi – Annastasia Scofield

Lesson 42

Out of Patience

I had hoped to ask more than two people to answer the questions in this week’s lesson for me.  Unfortunately, I was only able to get to two and only got one response back prior to this posting.  My SL brother was one I asked if he would answer these questions as he’s been a constant in my life here for the last year.  I value his thoughts and know that he would tell me honestly what he felt.

Thank you Paris!  It is nice to know that what inspires you about me is that I hold true to my values – values about love and relationships.  I appreciate that you think anything is possible for me in the next year specifically that I find the love of my life in real.  That you want me to be selfish and let loose and step out of my comfort zone and not deny myself.

I am grateful to be connected with people who don’t often tell you what you want to hear, but tell you the truth as they see it in love.  I may not always agree, but I do value their thoughts and opinions.

Thanks again Bro.  

Time Wasted

© The Best Year of Your Life by Debbie Ford

Lesson 42: Learn from the Mirror of Relationships

It’s been said that the three greatest mysteries of the world are air to birds, water to fish, and man unto himself. What this means is that oftentimes the things that we’re most familiar with are the hardest to understand. It can be difficult to take an honest assessment of ourselves because we lack an objective perspective.

Looking at ourselves through the eyes of others gives us a better understanding of our strengths, our limitations, and our potential. By embracing the perspective of another, we can discover aspects of ourselves that are hidden from our own view.

This week, use the mirror of relationships to gain insight into yourself.

Your Self-Love Assignment

This week, seek out two people whom you admire, and invite them to answer the following questions about you:

  • What about me inspires you the most?
  • What do you think is possible for me in the year to come?
  • What behavior, habit, or belief do you think I would have to give up in order to make this the best year of my life?
  • What skills and abilities do I have that you would like to see me develop?

Look for common themes in the feedback you receive, and distill these insights into three specific action steps that you can take this week.

Self-Love Points Earned

Give yourself 50 points for every person whose perspective you consider, and 50 points for taking the feedback they give.


Hair – Argrace – Brenda in Black
Jacket – Chronokit – Tailored Jacket Striped 2 Gray Women
Tie – New Mojo – Loose Tie Designer 1
Pants – Tram – Tweed Tuck Pants Grey
Handbag – Zenith Fashion -Timeless Bag
Shoes – Baiastice – Anna Pumps in Black @ Collabor88

Pose: Out of Patience by Del May

USB Tree Plain – [bauwerk]
Wasted Time Frame – [bauwerk] @ The Mens Department